Bridging the Gap

I have a picture on my home office door - the cover of one of my old Dicks 'n Janes zines actually - which has my head attached to a muscular Mel Gibson in the role of Braveheart. The caption at the bottom reads 'Gotta Keep 'em Separated', taken from the hit song of the same title by The Offspring. (Isn't the internet amazing - click here and you can hear it too!). At the time I believed it was very important to keep the publisher of this irreverent and politically incorrect zine (worldwide circulation 50, from 1984-2003) far apart from the businessman whose Japanese clients might not approve of the liberal references to politics, pot and poetry. (sorry, but I’m a product of the 60s). I was very cautious about who I mailed copies to, and limited the readership to friends, and friends of friends, with just one stipulation: no jerks. (for example, the idiot who tossed hatchets at trees and poured kerosene on our annual Mother’s Day campfire).

My point? Well, today I find myself in a similar situation, trying to keep the Scarborough Dude (oops - now the cat’s out of the bag), host of the Dicksnjanes Podcast (no hyperlink, yet) at bay from Ken, the mild mannered mediator. The ‘dude,’ as his small but loyal fan base calls him, loves to swear loudly and voice strongly worded opinions on religion, politics, parenthood, education and everything in between. If the dots were ever connected (it shouldn't be hard now), this character could surely wreak havoc on my reputation as a fair and unbiased mediator. Gotta keep ’em separated, no?

That’s what I’ve been telling myself anyway - keep your wild and crazy hobby persona far from your budding identity as a professional in the field of mediation. But is that split between the various expressions of oneself really necessary? When I read books such as Bringing Peace Into the Room: How the Personal Qualities of the Mediator Impact the Process of Conflict Resolution by Daniel Bowling and David Hoffman, I get a sense that real mediators who are at one with their inner selves are more effective in their professional roles, and more likely to win the trust of clients. And so slowly, cautiously, and within the protective confines of this blog, I begin to bridge the gap.

"Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a money looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey." – Malcolm de Chazal
or if you prefer...
"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." – May Sarton

What Happened?

Time to own up to an onerous truth: this ain't as easy as I had imagined! I last left you with an audio introduction, in what I planned would be a weekly series of podcasts exploring my journey towards making a living as a mediator. I like to think I'm still learning valuable lessons every week, especially through my volunteer service in the Victim-Offender Program here in Toronto, but the hope of actually earning money as a mediator seems further away than ever. Of course one can be a mediator without financial gain, but having it both ways is still a dream I'm not yet ready to give up. 

That aside, I've had to ask myself what happened to this blog I was so excited about when I started. It would be easy to lay the blame on a mild case of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, but the fact is, for a blog, or podcast, to be successful, the author needs to be clear on the reasons for putting it out, the message(s) to be conveyed, and the intended audience. Two months ago I thought I had the answers to those questions, but as of today, I can answer none of them. But just admitting that makes me feel a lot better, and optimistic that I can get started again. I will keep in mind a lesson I've learned from podcasting, as expressed by comedian Bill Cosby: 

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying please everybody."