Mediation and Language Skills

I’ve spent a large part of my adult life teaching English, both in Canada and overseas. Having long had to make myself clearly understood by second language learners, I now have an unconscious habit of quickly assessing a speakers’ English skills, and adjusting my speech patterns and vocabulary accordingly. This is so second nature to me now that I will even fine tune my speech when dialoguing with native English speakers, depending on their verbal expertise, although the changes I make are usually subtle enough that a co-mediator might not even notice. What surprises me, however, is that non-teachers can sometimes be so completely oblivious to a listeners needs, not noticing the facial expressions suggesting varying degrees of incomprehension. ESL teachers are (or should be) trained to pick up on non-verbal cues, and slow down, repeat, rephrase, avoid idioms or do whatever else is necessary to help facilitate good communication.

The implications for mediators are plain: active listening, by extension, should include being sensitive to a clients language capabilities. I have on occasion been disturbed to hear a fellow mediator talk rapidly and verbosely when it was apparent the client was struggling to keep up. Whether oversights like this are due to inexperience or a lack of training I can’t say, but I would like to share a few teacher tips.

Listen and observe: Start slowly with introductions and small talk, give the client an opportunity to speak, and try to gauge their proficiency. Note that it is not just second language learners who can have difficulties communicating; other variables such as stress and anxiety can interfere with linguistic competence.
Listen to yourself: Practice your opening statement alone sometime, or even better, record yourself and pay attention to your speed and lexicon. Ask a co-mediator for honest feedback. Learn to simplify.
Stop short: Some people seem unable to find an end to their sentences, and carry on as if every sentence has to be a full paragraph. Stop! Give the listener time to process what’s being said if it’s important, and if verbosity is just your natural style, learn to break your run on sentences into shorter segments. Try being more concise when asking questions; some mediators appear to supply the answers to their own questions.
Check for comprehension: Don’t just ask ‘do you understand?’ because almost everyone will say yes, even if they don’t. Clients can easily be intimidated by someone else’s superior language skills. Remember to ask open-ended questions, and allow the client plenty of time to compose answer if they are nervous, embarrassed or confused. Don’t be afraid to come back to the same question again later if you don’t feel the answer was complete. Learn to read cues from body language and facial expressions as well.
Rephrase and repeat: Raising your voice or slowing your speech down to an unnatural rhythm is demeaning and won’t help. Instead, repeat questions, if necessary, by rephrasing. “So when did you finally decide to bring this uncomfortable relationship you were involved in to a conclusion?” can be rephrased as “Tell me about ending your relationship.” and afterwards ‘When did this happen?” Of course, none of these adjustments are necessary if you have already assessed your client to be completely at ease and verbally sophisticated. The point is, find out first.